Developers!!!!!

desiv

work in progress...
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AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I should NOT have to explain to a guy who's been writing Windows code for over 10 years that the error "out of memory" from a VB app almost NEVER MEANS THE SERVER IS ACTUALLY OUT OF MEMORY!!!!!!!!!!!!

:censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored::censored:

Fix your :censored: app!!!!! It's not my server!!!

desiv
(If you're a developer here, I'm sure you wouldn't do that... would you!!! :mad::mad::mad: )
 

Zetr0

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thats it desiv..... let it out...... dont hold back.....

negative energy and window's VB programmers are bad for ones health.
 

Merlin

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10 print "Select your chosen weapon"; a$
20 let "developer"= b$ rem *b$ seems appropriate LOL*
30 print "Choose number of times to use the weapon"; c
40 for I = 1 to c
50 print b$ " says you are out or memory."
60 print "you attack " b$ " with your" a$
70 next c
80 print "Now take a nice deep breath....."
90 end

:mrgreen:
 
Last edited:

desiv

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Now that's a language I can appreciate!! ;-)

I've vented and am relaxed now.. :cool:

It just never ceases to amaze me how little some VB developers (at least some of ours) understand about what thier programs are actually doing...

To be fair, we have Windows admins who don't understand what their OS is actually doing either. They just know the GUI tools...

#meloncholy=ON && rose_colored_glasses=enabled
I miss the old days where you really had to have a basic understanding about how your computer worked in order to be an admin or developer...
#meloncholy=OFF && rose_colored_glasses=disabled

desiv
 

rkauer

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Tell the knob to write this little app (and be sure he/she/it is using virtual memory on pc):
Code:
10 copy cure.bat + cure.bat > cure.bat
20 goto 10
Save the archive as cure.bat and tell he/she/it to run it. Chances are the tool will not mail you for a while.:twisted:
 

Merlin

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@echo off
cls
@echo on
echo "You are fired!!"

Save this as memfix.bat and ask him to run it......:LOL:
 

desiv

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:LOL::LOL::LOL:

desiv

p.s. Remind me never to get you guys mad at me...
Not that it would ever happen, as you are all so incredibly AWESOME!!!!
:unsure:
 

Merlin

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OK, here's a story from my past; this was about 15 years ago, at a company I worked at in Lancashire. it's slightly off topic but so what...

They had a Novell 2000 network and one day I accidentally (honestly, it was purely by accident) discovered the network admin password. This allowed me to edit login scripts and other stuff that I couldn't quite figure out at the time.

Anyhoo, one of the secretaries was working on a Saturday to finish off some reports and I got wind of it. I just couldn't resist the opportunity, so I did some subtle :whistle: editing of her login script, so that she got this message when she logged in:-

"Warning! System crash imminent - press any key to continue"

I'd rigged the script so that whatever key she pressed it said "No! Not that one! Try another one."

Another key press later, she got "Not that one either! you aren't very good at this, are you?"

One final key press later, she saw "Got you! The Phantom strikes again!" then it logged her onto the network as normal.

"The Phantom" got severely :censored:ked for this and was warned never to do it again.....:unsure::(
 

jvdbossc

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I met a visual basic developer 5 ones, I introduced him to option explicit. :nuts: He did not know why the program ran with errors.:whistle:

LOL cowboy's:whistle:

Last time a few years ago he was working for a big telecom company as a programmer. Hope my phone keeps working next year or so.

---------- Post added at 21:31 ---------- Previous post was at 21:29 ----------

Merlin that is right naughty behaviour that post :whistle: Why not format the whole hard disk at once lol
 

davideo

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This was floating about on the emails today.

Dave G :cool:
 

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Harrison

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Merlin's story reminded me of a classic one many have done to others, and one I've mentioned somewhere online before.

A friend of mine, who is an illustrator, isn't that great with computers. He can use them for photoshop, music creation etc, but has no clue how to setup an OS, configure much or make even a simple webpage.

Anyway.. I used to work with him in a design agency and he was always late getting there in the morning, so one day we all thought it would be amusing to take a screenshot of his desktop, then hide all of the icons inside of directory and switch the computer off. He arrived, switched the computer on, waited for it to boot, then discovered none of his icons seemed to work. He must have spent a good hour rebooting the system, scratching his head, swapping the mouse for another, looking through the control panel settings. In the end the boss was wondering why he hadn't done an adbanner design yet so we had to come clean and sort it out for him. Was funny while it lasted though. :)
 

Merlin

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@ Harrison / all

This is a classic Youtube version of that same 'hiding icons' scenario.....

>>>LINKY<<<
:rofl3
 

rkauer

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The biggest meh! moment I saw was when I giveaway a set of Norton utilities on 3 5.25" floppies to a costumer.

She called me on the phone next day asking if I can help her on install the thing.

Me: OK. Insert the disk labelled #1 on the drive, then on DOS type A:install

She: OK.

Me: Wait until the floppy LED turns off, then place the second disk, it will ask you some personal data. I can help if any difficulty translating from english.

She: right (noises of someone typing an a keyboard)...

Me: Now, when the LED turns off again you can place the last disk and...

She: ROGÉRIO, I INSERTED TWO DISKS ON THE DRIVE! DO YOU THINK THERE IS ENOUGH ROOM FOR ONE MORE??????????
 

cosmicfrog

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awesome vid

only problem now is I want to arrange my icons into different shapes too
 
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