Hell, as explained by a Chemistry student

Merlin

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Hell, explained by chemistry student

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :



Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?===========



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:


1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
 

McVenco

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Best. Story. Ever. Hands down :ROTFLOL2::ROTFLOL2::ROTFLOL2:





(my collegues are looking a bit worried at me since I'm laughing at a pretty high volume right now :LOL:)
 

mfilos

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Have read it 1-2 years ago (translated to Greek). Still feels good reading it :)
/respect
 

status

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Then Mark Twain's quote is false.

Mark Twain said:
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Because in that situation, Hell is like a ski resort now and you have company.:p
 

protek

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Hell froze on May 2006, when Finland finally won the Eurovision song contest. :p
 

moijk

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Hell froze on May 2006, when Finland finally won the Eurovision song contest. :p

hehe, Lordi is a weird group

But I would think hell would be a nice place for a finn. Probably the first thing a finn would say was "Lets get a bucket and heat up this sauna".
 

tokyoracer

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Good answer, sounds like the student is Catholic, which probably helps (as I was brought up the same, worryingly).

Though for me, the heat would be the last thing on my mind, the thought of meeting people like Michel Winner and Doomy is more worrying.
 

Kin Hell

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I love reading stuff like that. :D Excellent story Merlin.

Kin
 
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