My landlady has managed to create a time machine OBVIOUSLY!!! :@

Have you looked at the Citizens advice bureau advice guide on renting from a private landlord?

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index..._index_ew/renting_from_a_private_landlord.htm

Especially the section on repairs. Your landlord has a responsibility by law to uphold repairs to the property regardless of what is written in the tenancy agreement.

Regarding the gas. Your landlord has a responsibility to make sure gas appliances are safe. You say it hasn't been checked in 30 years. That is completely against the law as they must be checked by law every 12 months. The landlord much keep a record of this, with the problems identified and the action taken. As the tenant, you have the right to see these records as long as you have given reasonable notice. If they have not complied with this then you can contact the local Health and Safely executives office. However depending on your tenancy agreement you could have eviction.

The final stage is civil count action and private prosecution. Based on how you describe the house, you are living in a health hazard which is dangerous. Leaking waste pipes can give you all sorts of health issues and diseases. And contaminated water, damp etc just as much. You can prosecute your landlord for these poor conditions, and if successful, the landlord will be ordered to do the repairs and be guilty of a criminal offence if they do not carry them out.

If you can get the house condemned then you could use this as an argument to get your name elevated to the top of the local authorities housing list as you would be in effect facing homelessness. It is what a friend did and the local council found her a nice freshly decorated local authority flat the next week, with reduced rent and bills due to her current income.
 
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