Stupid things I hear at Tech Support

RedDaemonFox

RedDaemonFox

Amiga's enemy is my enemy!
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So I'm employed at a university's tech support centre as a Phone agent, so I answer call-in questions, and online requests. I get online and ABA students calling in, and I swear these people shouldn't be in college >_<. A few of my calls I will share in a code block:

Code: 
Caller 1 (Idiot who forgets EVERYTHING for his password):

"Hi, thanks for calling the TSC, my names Jonathon and how may I assist you today?"

"I NEED MY PASSWORD RESET" (Turn down my headset WAYY down)

"Okay sir may I have your first and last name?"

"Billy Smith"

I look it up and get nothing from my student address book.

"Sir, I need the name you signed to your application"

"William Smithson" (WTF?)

"Okay, I have your info. I need to ask you some questions."

"Sure"

Answers none of them correctly.

"Okay I need to ask you your last 4 digits of SSN"

"No way"

"Sir, in order to reset your password I must have it"

"Put your <expletive> supervisor on."

I transfer him, where he harasses the manager on duty.

Manager: "Why do these people have to be like that. It took me five minutes to read off our privacy policy for him to be satisfied."
:picard

Caller 2 (Inept ABA/Online Student)

"Hello, Tech support centre?"

"Hi I don't know how to access my class courses."

"Name please?"

"Sue Walton"

"Okay Sue, are you using register.<university>.edu?"

"No, <university>.edu/access."

*Facepalm*

"Sue, please go to register instead of access."

"It says my browser is incompatible, what is a browser"

I mute the call and swear, before unmuting

"Sue, what picture do you click on to get internet and what version of Windows are you using?"

"Its a little blue E, and its XP."

"Well you're using an old version of Internet explorer, you should download Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox"

"Why can't I just use what I have, that sounds complicated"

My mind is screaming F-Bomb right now

"Because its a limitation of the site. If you have a complaint, direct it to ABA support and not us, we don't have any control over those sites."

Long story short I had to take another 15 minutes and get her set up with Chrome, and then I got told off by one of the other supervisors I was taking too long on the call and to wrap it up. I don't blame his plight, however, we were backed up 4 calls and 2 were abandoned.

Moral of the story? Be nice to human tech support people and educate yourself, we have a hard job as it is trying to help users with classroom stuff.

Thats the end of my rant I guess.
 
I do tech support too but instead of sorting stuff over the phone I drive over... and get free cups of tea/cake in the process! :p

I had one user who blamed her mouse mat for deleting some files a few years back - she threw it in the bin. I didn't know what to say at the time so :picard

I miss the old days of computing when it was hobbiest/very simplified for end users.
 
Sadly Tech-Support is not for everyone.

One must have the patience of mother Theresa and the empathy of Diana Troy.

Ironically with Tech-Support, not much technical knowledge is required, as it appears to the be the case with my dealings with them... =)
 
Yeah I understand your pain!

This goes the other way sometimes too, when the caller is more qualified than the first line support people (example: big ISPs).

Though I think some CRM systems out there aren't too good also, or people lack the training to use them efficiently.
 
There's definitely a reason I've been telling everyone who asks me, to buy a Dell or an Apple for the last 7-8 years, instead of "I can build you a PC"...
 
One of the reasons I am glad I don't have to deal with the public, I already get enough complaints put in about me :P .

One of my favourites has been, I can't access the network from home, why would you think you should be able to, well it connects to the wireless network.
 
So, do you have a Problem Analyst who looks at these and other calls to determine trends for types of support call and then works with the different support departments/Developers to put a resource in place that will help end users and reduce the number of calls coming into your office?


A wiki-type of end user system is one of the most helpful for users who aren't sure what to do. The content for the Wiki can be pulled from the calls that come in and can be added to or enhanced at any time.
 
Ed, we use a ticket system called footprints, and we document every type of call. The managers look at the stats and may say something at our meetings but that's it. Being a student at the university, I only work 10 hours a week and get about $150 after taxes every two weeks so its good money when I'd be doing nothing but watching Anime or doing the little studying I do
 
I worked for 2 Call Centers.
1 Convergys doing HP and Comcast Tech support. 18 Months then kind of had a break down (I was one of the longer lasting techs there)
Then a few years latter, Dell.
I was reprimanded by Dell for actually helping a customer, because it was not in my scope of suport. The poor woman was on hold for 6 hours and switched from department to department and she was in tears. Turns out she had just got here laptop the day before and the mouse was not working. I suggested she try new batteries and her problem was solved. 2 minutes LISTENING to a customer. She then even asked to speak to my manager, so she could thank me properly. My manager still chew me out and I got "Written up" for going out of my scope of support. A week later I got fired for emailing Michael Dell and saying "Hi", Because even though they tell you Michael Dell loves to email and chat with his employees in training, ANY actual attempts to contact him is (in their words) "A Career limiting move". I could write a whole Novel on the horror show it is to work at a Dell call center, but I won't- needless to say, the Dell tech support centers are absolutely NOT there to provide tech support, but rather to provide the illusion of some kind of support once you buy their machines its all about number and matrix people. Call times, can you follow a set script, can you get them to buy more tech support services and how fast can you get them OFF the phone.
 
I stopped to do support long time ago for reasons already discussed here in this forum.

But in that time when 5.25" floppies are common in pc land I gave an spare copy (yarrr) of Norton Utilities 5 to a costumer as a thanks for the payment(!).

The other day she called me to help her install the software. I ask her to put the 1st disk in the drive and issue A:install.

Then told her the necessary steps while waiting the installation to proceed. After a minute I told her to put the second floppy in the drive. I knew from self experience the second floppy would copy little data to the HD so after a few seconds I told her:

-When the drive light turns off you can put the third disk and the wait the install to finish.

Only to hear (I tell you this is true!):

-BUT MR ROGERIO, I ALREADY PUT TWO FLOPPIES IN THE DRIVE, THE THIRD WILL NOT FIT!

:picard::picard::picard::picard::picard::picard::picard::picard:
 
Zetr0 said:
One must have the patience of mother Theresa and the empathy of Diana Troy.
Click to expand...
That I can agree with, being as I do Tech Support for a living

Zetr0 said:
Ironically with Tech-Support, not much technical knowledge is required, as it appears to the be the case with my dealings with them... =)
Click to expand...
I hope you're not saying that all all tech support people are like that!
 
I'm not alone!

Another IBM customer had troubles installing software and rang for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the second disk, and I had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in...." The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
Click to expand...
 
Hey, think about a scenario, where a stupid tech support is trying to help a stupid customer. :ROTFLOL2:
 
RedDaemonFox said:
So I'm employed at a university's tech support centre as a Phone agent, so I answer call-in questions, and online requests. I get online and ABA students calling in, and I swear these people shouldn't be in college >_<. A few of my calls I will share in a code block:

Code: 
Caller 1 (Idiot who forgets EVERYTHING for his password):

"Hi, thanks for calling the TSC, my names Jonathon and how may I assist you today?"

"I NEED MY PASSWORD RESET" (Turn down my headset WAYY down)

"Okay sir may I have your first and last name?"

"Billy Smith"

I look it up and get nothing from my student address book.

"Sir, I need the name you signed to your application"

"William Smithson" (WTF?)

"Okay, I have your info. I need to ask you some questions."

"Sure"

Answers none of them correctly.

"Okay I need to ask you your last 4 digits of SSN"

"No way"

"Sir, in order to reset your password I must have it"

"Put your <expletive> supervisor on."

I transfer him, where he harasses the manager on duty.

Manager: "Why do these people have to be like that. It took me five minutes to read off our privacy policy for him to be satisfied."
:picard

Caller 2 (Inept ABA/Online Student)

"Hello, Tech support centre?"

"Hi I don't know how to access my class courses."

"Name please?"

"Sue Walton"

"Okay Sue, are you using register.<university>.edu?"

"No, <university>.edu/access."

*Facepalm*

"Sue, please go to register instead of access."

"It says my browser is incompatible, what is a browser"

I mute the call and swear, before unmuting

"Sue, what picture do you click on to get internet and what version of Windows are you using?"

"Its a little blue E, and its XP."

"Well you're using an old version of Internet explorer, you should download Google Chrome or Mozilla Firefox"

"Why can't I just use what I have, that sounds complicated"

My mind is screaming F-Bomb right now

"Because its a limitation of the site. If you have a complaint, direct it to ABA support and not us, we don't have any control over those sites."

Long story short I had to take another 15 minutes and get her set up with Chrome, and then I got told off by one of the other supervisors I was taking too long on the call and to wrap it up. I don't blame his plight, however, we were backed up 4 calls and 2 were abandoned.
Moral of the story? Be nice to human tech support people and educate yourself, we have a hard job as it is trying to help users with classroom stuff.

Thats the end of my rant I guess.
Click to expand...


Unfortunately, the people that are likely to listen to that advice arent the people that would be reading these threads. :picard

I know a few people that would likely be exactly the same as the girl who asked 'what is a browser?' Somehow, one of them is even on my computer science degree course... and is so loyal to Apple she doesn't want to even learn to use windows for the sake of the course and yet can't save a MacOS text file as a HTML file for the life of her. This is after a year of me helping her study :double

This is my punishment for taking the first 2 of the 3 years at an affiliated community college instead of directly at the University which is too far for me to travel to from where I currently live. :roll:
 
Personally I dont mind how dopey they are and I mean that with all due respect to them. As long as theres people like that, then there'll be a job for me and I'm not going to bite the hand thats feeding me.

Plus some of these people might be rubbish with computers but they have skills that I could never do so each to their own.
 
I find tech support people to be impossible to talk to. "no offence"
as far as im concerned, they just sit at a phone with a book of replies.
and thats all they have.. they have no knowlage. just a bunch of replies written down to spout at you when you have aquestion.


any way il tell you how it is..

here we are on virgin. and the phone lines suck.. We have 4mb speed on adsl..
if it gets a bit windy. or to rainy then our speed would be slower..

Over the space of a year we have a bunch of windy and rainy days. which affects our phone lines. and makes the signal weaker.
Virging's servers detect this and knock down our connection speed so its more stable but slower.

so 1ce a year i have to call virgin and tell them that they have now knocked down our connection speed to 0.5Mb
and all they need to do is just reset it back to 4Mb..

the conversation should go like this..

me "Hi. my name is xxxx and im calling about my connection speed"

them "can i have your phone number address and apssword please"

Me "sure here they are xxxxxx xxx xx xxx"

them "How can I help you sir"

me "You just need to reset the connection on our phone line because its knocked the speed down again"

them "ok sir. i have done that. you should reconnect to the internet to confirm it has worked and is there anything els i can help you with?"

me "Im now connecting at the correct speed, and no thank you you have been more than helpfull. Thank you for your time"

them "have a nice day"

me "bye"
Click to expand...
however the conversation goes more like this

me "Hi. my name is xxxx and im calling about my connection speed"

them "can i have your phone number address and apssword please"

Me "sure here they are xxxxxx xxx xx xxx"

them "How can I help you sir"

me "You just need to reset the connection on our phone line because its knocked the speed down again"

them "you chould contact BT about phone line issues"

me "i know whats happend it happens every year. i have been doing this same dance with you for the past 7 years. can you justr reset it now and save all the hassle"

them "we cannot send a technitian out to look at your phone line its a Bt line"

me. "i dont want you to look at it, i dont want you to check it. All i want you to do is reset the thing"

them "have you done 3 speed tests on non peek hours within 24 hours atleast 2 hours apart"

Me "are you serious? do you realise what you asking.. your asking for 3 speed tests 2 hours apart at non peek times. Effectivly asking people to stay home from work just to run 3 stinking tests on line speed when i can see rigfht here on my desk top iut says connected at 0.5Mb's"

them "sir it is our policy. that we must have you run 3 speed tests before we refere you to our engineering team"

me.. "OMG I dont want the engineering team. i dont want bt to come out and test the line which they have done atleast 4 times now since i signed up with virgin. all i want you to do is push the damn button to reset the stupid data that tells your servers that my connection rate should be 0.5Mb's"

them "have you exeeded your download limit?"

me "i pay £32 a month so i dont have download limits. so i would imagine not"

them "there is still fair usage policy"

me "fair usage policy dosent come in to it. I can connect at 4Mb. and your servers have decided for stabilit. i should now be at 0.5Mb"

them "you will need to do 3 speed tests, with 2 hour spacing. at non peak times for us to do anything"

me "just push the button to reset the speed"

them "sir... "

me "Push the button!"

them. "sir there is no button"

me "thjere was a button last year the year before and the year be fore that. and There is a button or its equivalent now. so just push it"

them "we will need you to do 3 speed.."

me "Push the damn button"

them "sir.. "

me "push the damn button"

them "I will put you through to my supervisor"

them "hello my name is xxxxx how can i help you"

me "hi, i can connect at 4mb. but the server has knocked me down to 0.5Mb and i need you to reset it please. this happens every year"

them "Hi. i have just checked data for your connection. it seems like your phone line sometimes has issues and the server knocks the speed down for stability"

me "I know i tried to tell the other person that but they would not listen, can you please reset it"

them "I have now reset the data, if you would dissconnect from the internet then reconnect to confirm that your speed has increaded"

me "ok did that and yes it has worked"

them, "is there anything els i can help you with"

me "no thanks bye"
Click to expand...
 
ShambleS1980 said:
I find tech support people to be impossible to talk to. "no offence"
as far as im concerned, they just sit at a phone with a book of replies.
and thats all they have.. they have no knowlage. just a bunch of replies written down to spout at you when you have aquestion.


any way il tell you how it is..

here we are on virgin. and the phone lines suck.. We have 4mb speed on adsl..
if it gets a bit windy. or to rainy then our speed would be slower..

Over the space of a year we have a bunch of windy and rainy days. which affects our phone lines. and makes the signal weaker.
Virging's servers detect this and knock down our connection speed so its more stable but slower.

so 1ce a year i have to call virgin and tell them that they have now knocked down our connection speed to 0.5Mb
and all they need to do is just reset it back to 4Mb..

the conversation should go like this..

Code: 
me "Hi. my name is xxxx and im calling about my connection speed"

them "can i have your phone number address and apssword please"

Me "sure here they are xxxxxx xxx xx  xxx"

them "How can I help you sir"

me "You just need to reset the connection on our phone line because its knocked the speed down again" 

them "ok sir. i have done that. you should reconnect to the internet to confirm it has worked and is there anything els i can help you with?"

me "Im now connecting at the correct speed, and no thank you you have been more than helpfull. Thank you for your time"

them "have a nice day"

me "bye"
however the conversation goes more like this

Code: 
me "Hi. my name is xxxx and im calling about my connection speed"

them "can i have your phone number address and apssword please"

Me "sure here they are xxxxxx xxx xx  xxx"

them "How can I help you sir"

me "You just need to reset the connection on our phone line because its knocked the speed down again" 

them "you chould contact BT about phone line issues"

me "i know whats happend it happens every year. i have been doing this same dance with you for the past 7 years. can you justr reset it now and save all the hassle"

them "we cannot send a technitian out to look at your phone line its a Bt line"

me. "i dont want you to look at it, i dont want you to check it. All i want you to do is reset the thing"

them "have you done 3 speed tests on non peek hours within 24 hours atleast 2 hours apart"

Me "are you serious? do you realise what you asking.. your asking for 3 speed tests 2 hours apart at non peek times. Effectivly asking people to stay home from work just to run 3 stinking tests on line speed when i can see rigfht here on my desk top iut says connected at 0.5Mb's"

them "sir it is our policy. that we must have you run 3 speed tests before we refere you to our engineering  team" 

me.. "OMG I dont want the engineering team. i dont want bt to come out and test the line which they have done atleast 4 times now since i signed up with virgin. all i want you to do is push the damn button to reset the stupid data that tells your servers that my connection rate should be 0.5Mb's"

them "have you exeeded your download limit?"

me "i pay £32 a month so i dont have download limits. so i would imagine not"

them "there is still fair usage policy" 

me "fair usage policy dosent come in to it. I can connect at 4Mb. and your servers have decided for stabilit. i should now be at 0.5Mb" 

them "you will need to do 3 speed tests, with 2 hour spacing. at non peak times for us to do anything" 

me "just push the button to reset the speed"

them "sir... "

me  "Push the button!"

them. "sir there is no button" 

me "thjere was a button last year the year before and the year be fore that. and There is a button or its equivalent now. so just push it" 

them "we will need you to do 3 speed.."

me "Push the damn button"

them "sir.. "

me "push the damn button"

them "I will put you through to my supervisor"

them "hello my name is xxxxx how can i help you"

me "hi, i can connect at 4mb. but the server has knocked me down to 0.5Mb and i need you to reset it please. this happens every year"

them "Hi. i have just checked data for your connection. it seems like your phone line sometimes has issues and the server knocks the speed down for stability" 

me "I know i tried to tell the other person that but they would not listen, can you please reset it"

them "I have now reset the data, if you would dissconnect from the internet then reconnect to confirm that your speed has increaded"   

me "ok did that and yes it has worked"

them, "is there anything els i can help you with"

me "no thanks bye"
Click to expand...

Does this happen to be an India call centre?

Anyways at our college we have a DMCA policy for students: We don't care if they use P2P software, but in the event we get a DMCA notice, we shut off their internet, but we won't turn over their info to the MPAA/RIAA. My job when that happens is simple if its the first offense: Read a script, tell them I've sent their info to my manager so one of them can turn it back on and thats the end. I'm pretty direct about the problem as we do NOT have call scripts, we are trained to work by what we know.
 
I used to work ISP tech support, it was hell. Crappy customers and forced to a script.

Now I do proper IT support for local government. You still get clueless users but thankfully no scripts!
 
Firthy2002 said:
I used to work ISP tech support, it was hell. Crappy customers and forced to a script.

Now I do proper IT support for local government. You still get clueless users but thankfully no scripts!
Click to expand...


AH HA!!

I knew it!

stupid scripts.:thumbsdown:
 
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